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The Panda Post is brought to you twice a month by veteran safety reporter Bamboo Buchwald, a proud member of the AP (Associated Panda). Through intrepid reporting (which is pretty easy even for a cartoon since it takes little more than checking the websites of actual, reputable news outlets) I bring you the exciting, the not so exciting, and offbeat news from the Safety Industry.
Good information about what’s going on in the industry is priceless. What I offer might provide some value as well—hardly priceless, but at least worth a look. |
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The Panda Post, Volume 6
The Panda Post would like to wish everyone Happy Holidays. I’m gearing up for the annual Illustration/Animation Christmas Party. It’s always enjoyable gathering around Charlie Brown’s woeful Christmas tree and talking to Frosty the Snowman and the Grinch (who is quite nice since the well documented heart enlargement). The downside is that you have to keep an eye out for Mr. Heat Miser who gets surly after too much egg nog. Last year he wouldn’t let Rudolph play in any reindeer games, he told Mrs. Claus she was a “hot old broad”, and he punched Frosty’s button nose. |
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Santa’s Safety Review
This time of year isn’t easy for jolly old St. Nick. Sure the chubby dude in the goofy red suit has a plant shutdown 11 months out of the year, but during Christmas he makes up for all of the downtime. With his extensive background in morality (you know that whole “naughty and nice” deal?) you’d think Mr. Claus would be up to snuff on safety rules and equipment. But have you ever seen a photo of St. Nick climbing down a chimney securely fastened to a harness? Or wearing an ANSI hi-vis coat while guiding that sled through the dark Chistmas Eve night?
We here at the Panda Post felt that it was time for a safety distributor to make a sales call at the North Pole, and bring a few of the items on Santa’s wish list. |
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Yaktrax Pro Outsoles: Traction on a slippery roof seems like a no-brainer. |
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Safewaze Feather Plus Harness: It’s red and won’t clash with Claus’ getup. OSHA would freak if they saw Kris Kringle crawling down a chimney untethered. |
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Lights: The FAA can’t be too thrilled with the fact that Santa hurtles across the sky with nothing more than Rudolph’s dimly lit nose guiding the way. Nothing against the genetic freak reindeer, but Santa could also use a Streamlight Stinger XT or strap a couple of Flashing Red Lights from Jackson Safety to avoid being plowed into by a Boeing at 30,000 feet. |
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Safety in Santa’s Workshop: An Elfin Exposé
Being an elf means job security and long vacations, but it also has its downside. No one wants to wear green tights and pointed hats to work, and you don’t get time off for Christmas. But after a recent interview with an elf (referred to from here on as “Milo”) who has been on staff for 150 years, one thing is for sure—Santa’s Workshop is a safe place to work. No specific “work hours without lost-time injury” data is available, but Milo, who has spent most of his career working in the Department of Train Sets and Remote Control Cars has seen an increased awareness of safety among his vertically challenged co-workers. |
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“Safety eyewear was made mandatory in 1942 after an elf working with sugarplum fairies got some fairy dust in his eyes,” said Milo. “He was not seriously injured, but the whites of eyes still look like a kaleidoscope. It was a wakeup call for all of us.”
Respiratory protection has also been in use for decades at the North Pole manufacturing facility.
“For those shoveling and breaking apart lumps of coal for stockings, a respirator is must,” explains Milo. “I have a friend who works as a candy cane glazer, and he swears by his full facemask respirator. Peppermint is cool in moderation, but it burns like hell when it hits the lungs.”
OSHA may have formed in 1970, but the Workshop was well ahead of the safety curve. Crude but effective safety harnesses (made from a combination of rope licorice, tinsel, and ornament hooks) were put into use following a tragic accident in 1945, when Blinky the Elf fell while icing the roof of a gingerbread house. He plummeted into a fresh vat of gingerbread and was never found.
“No one is quite sure, but we believe Blinky was served as a ginger snap somewhere on the East Coast,” says a teary-eyed Milo. |
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Companies Not Worried About Santa Checking His List Twice
Novartis Pharmaceuticals and Herman Miller are just two on a short “nice” list that are sure to get what they want for Christmas. They are both part of a list of America’s Safest Companies on EHS Today’s website. Our hard hats are off to the winners. Keep up the good (and safe) work. |
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Plenty Would Rather Be Naughty Than Nice
A survey by Kimberly-Clark Professional that was released in November shows a surprising number of workers don’t follow safety compliance procedures.
In a related story, EHS Today provides tips on how to bridge the gap between workers knowing what safety procedures to follow, and actually following those procedures. If safety scofflaws pay special attention to author Carl Potter’s tips, and get help from knowledgeable distributors, they may have more than Kingsford in their stockings next Christmas. |
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Pandas in a Pear Tree
Panda would like to wish you all a Happy and SAFE Holiday. Be sure to take some time and enjoy those around you. Even Panda's elves need to cut loose every once in a while.
Not all the Bears could be make the Disco Get Down this year. Someone had to stay home and keep Grams off the sauce, while sneaking a few for themselves.
Happy Holidays from Panda |
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Expect more from this tireless cartoon reporter (sleep is difficult considering I wasn’t drawn with eyelids) in the weeks to come. We at The Panda Post are here to keep you (semi) informed. |
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